That's a far cry from those born in the late 1930s, some 70% of whom did better than their parents. The rate has drifted downward since, but millennials are the first to fall below 50%. Another What was the best thing that happened at school today? (What was the worst thing that happened at school today?) #2. Tell me something that made you laugh today. #3. If you could choose who would you like to sit by in class? (Who would you NOT want to sit by in class? Why?) #4. Where is the coolest place at the school? #5. Positive Parenting Building Healthy Relationships With Your Kids ue A recent analysis shows that about 6 out of 10 children in the U.S. develop secure attachments to their parents. The 4 out of 10 kids who lack such bonds may avoid their parents when they are upset or resist their parents if they cause them more distress. Studies suggest Boyle admits she wouldn't necessarily change anything about the way she parents. Where the Times piece states parents today spend an average of five hours a week actively engaging with A recent survey of thousands of parents revealed that 90 percent of mothers and 85 percent of fathers feel judged, and close to half of them feel judged all or nearly all the time by people they know and by complete strangers. Even when parents do their best, you can't satisfy everybody. There's only so much time. Parent Council Parent Council Members About the Twin Cities Who to Contact: Financial Aid, 651-696-6214 Registrar, 651-696-6200 Residential Life, 651-696-6215 Student Accounts, 651-696-6161 Student Affairs, 651-696-6220 Transition Issues 1. Sat 4 Aug 2012 19.04 EDT M odern parenting seems to be in trouble when it comes to managing the boundaries between the generations. In some households, Mum and Dad pretend to be their Instead, tell them how that makes you feel: As a single daughter with no children, you feel less seen and less important as their estate is split multiple ways, and as your inheritance shrinks App Vay Tiền. “At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents.” -Jane D. Hull Human beings go through many developmental processes in their lifetime, with parenting being one of the most important one. It is imperative to understand that parenting is an ongoing learning process and one needs to put in deliberate efforts towards doing it right. As the quote says – “Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.” Parenting starts influencing the child from the moment the child starts observing. The central principle of modelling as proposed by Albert Bandura is that behaviour is learned from the environment through the process of observational learning. Family being a child’s first social environment, chances are that the child is affected the most by its family members; parents being the role models! Children observe and learn from their environment. Thus, as an informed parent, it is essential to be conscious about how to behave with young ones at home. According to American Psychological Association APA, parenting practices around the world share three major goals Ensuring children’s health and safety, Preparing children for life as productive adults, Transmitting cultural values. Parenting involves taking care of basic needs of the child like food, clothing, education and health. Apart from this, parenting also involves giving warmth, care, love and support in every way possible, including providing them with right guidance and exercising control wherever necessary. Various factors like socioeconomic demographics, personality of the parents, educational qualification of the parents, family environment and parenting style may affect parenting. For instance, according to researchers, children from lower Socioeconomic Status and communities showed delayed development of academic skills than children from higher SES groups. It was further reported that low SES in childhood was related to poor cognitive development, language, memory, socioemotional processing, and consequently poor income and health in adulthood Morgan, Farkas, Hillemeier, & Maczuga, 2009.Dauber and Epstein 1993 and Janosz 1994 suggested that the environment which is provided by parents and family members influence children’s academic achievement. According to another finding, both, parent personality and the quality of parenting behaviours seemed to play an important role in personality development during adolescence Schofield, et al., 2012. Parenting style’ is another important factor. It refers to the variation in the ways that different people raise their children. The work of Diane Baumrind in the 1960s created one commonly-referenced categorization of parenting styles, which includes four distinct parenting styles Authoritarian or Disciplinarian, Permissive or Indulgent, Uninvolved, Authoritative. Authoritative parenting was found to be most effective in bringing out academic excellence in children. The quality of parent-child relationship is critical fo r healthy development of the child. If a child witnesses a healthy relationship between parents at home and feels that the parents are more responsive towards his/her needs, the emotional well- being of the child is enhanced. How many of us give our children a chance to speak freely and discuss sensitive issues like menstruation/puberty/sex? By not doing so, we are pushing them to search for inappropriate sources of information. Gender differences in parenting is extremely evident when parents have distinct expectations from their son and daughter, which results in limiting their potentials as individuals. Men are encouraged to restrict themselves from expressing their emotions and expected to be more aggressive, while women are pushed to be caring and less aggressive. It has been found that inadequate parenting is related to problems including childhood illness and accidents, teenage pregnancy, substance misuse, juvenile crime, mental illness, truancy and school underachievement Hoghughi & Speight, 1998. With the changing scenario in our country, we are moving from a collectivistic culture towards an individualistic culture, from a system of joint families we are now becoming nuclear families. In earlier times, children used to listen to stories, play outdoor games and share their feelings with their grandparents. Today, they spend time alone, playing video games and watching their favourite TV series. This transition from joint to nuclear families has had a significant effect on the upbringing of our children. Hence, it becomes imperative to become good parents and undertake the responsibility of parenthood seriously. As parents, be ready to take the roller coaster ride and have shared responsibilities. Things which every parent should do- Appreciate them and give them rewards Avoid expressing negative emotions and behaviours like anger, use of abusive language, arguments or fights Never compare them with others Hug them, tell bedtime stories and kiss them good night Monitor their screen time Listen to them Spend time with them Solve their queries Try to maintain a healthy communication in the family Most importantly, love your children! Parenting is a 24*7 job which involves taking your kid through the journey of life and helping them find their meaning of life. “There is no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.” —Sue Atkins Read the following passage and mark the letter A, B, C, or D on your answer sheet to indicate the correct word or phrase that best fits each of the numbered blanks from 26 to 30. "Parents today want their kids spending time on things that can bring them success, but 26 ______, we've stopped doing one thing that's actually been a proven predictor of success-and that's household chores," says Richard Rende, a 27 ______ psychologist in Paradise Valley, Ariz, and co-author of forthcoming book “Raising Can-Do Kids." Decades of studies show the benefits of chores-academically, emotionally and even professionally. Giving children household chores at an early age 28 ______ to build a lasting sense of mastery, responsibility and self-reliance, according to research by Marty Rossman, professor emeritus at the University of Minnesota. In 2002, Dr. Rossman analysed data from a longitudinal study 29 ______ followed 84 children across four periods in their lives - in preschool, around ages 10 and 15, and in their mid-20s. She found that young adults who began chores at ages 3 and 4 were more likely to have good relationships with family and friends, to achieve academic and early career success and to be self-sufficient, as compared with those who didn't have chores or who started them as teens. Chores also teach children how to be empathetic and responsive to 30 ______ needs, notes psychologist Richard Weissbourd of the Harvard Graduate School of Education. Câu hỏi 26.................... A. ironically B. however C. brutally D. therefore Lời giải tham khảo Đáp án đúng ADịch Richard Rende nói “Các bậc cha mẹ ngày nay muốn con cái của họ dành thời gian cho những việc có thể mang lại thành công cho chúng, nhưng trớ trêu thay, chúng ta đã ngừng làm một việc thực sự đã được chứng minh là một yếu tố dự báo thành công - và đó là những việc nhà... Mã câu hỏi 217316 Loại bài Bài tập Chủ đề Môn học Tiếng Anh Câu hỏi này thuộc đề thi trắc nghiệm dưới đây, bấm vào Bắt đầu thi để làm toàn bài CÂU HỎI KHÁC Indicate the word whose underlined part differs from the other three in pronunciation coughs, roofs , absorbs, detects Indicate the word whose underlined part differs from the other three in pronunciation earning, searching, learning, clearing Indicate the word that differs from the other three in the position primary stress discard, signal, protect, provide Indicate the word that differs from the other three in the position primary stress profession, sanctuary, scholarship, subsequent If she ______ to the party last night, she would have met that man. When Tom arrived at the airport, his wife ______ for him. My teacher advised my friend ______ well-prepared for the coming exam. The television set you bought last month is very expensive, ______? They warned us ______ the difficulties we have to face when applying for the job. He was the first person to cross ______ Atlantic in 890. She became a manager in no time ______. Linda didn’t go to school last week ______ she was seriously ill. My mother used to be a woman of great ______, but now she gets old and looks pale. After her mother died, she was ______ by her grandparents. Does television adequately reflect the ethnic and cultural ______ of the country? John cannot ______ a decision to get married to Mary or stay single until he can afford a house and a car. The children loved ______ the old castle. Trains ______ from this station take an hour to get to London. I suppose you won’t be coming to the party as you’re at death’s ______! The student service centre will try their best to assist students in finding a suitable part-time I have been fortunate enough to visit many parts of the world as a lecturer The US troops are using much more sophisticated weapons in the Far It seems that the deal was made behind closed doors as no one had any clue about it - Are you free this coming Sunday?” - ______” - Do you support the proposal to build a new airport?” - ______ 'Parents today want their kids spending time on things that can bring them success, but says Richard Rende Giving children household chores at an early age In 2002, Dr. Rossman analysed data from a longitudinal study Chores also teach children how to be empathetic and responsive to What is the main idea of the passage?;ll Which of the following is TRUE about the reason for the Pilgrims’ immigration to the New World? The word they” in paragraph 3 refers to l According to the passage, today’s Thanksgiving is ______. The word effort” in paragraph 4 mostly means ______. Which is the most suitable title for the article? The word obsolete” in paragraph 1 is closest in meaning to According to paragraph 2, what can we know about a large percentage of e-waste in the developed countries? The word “notify' in paragraph 3 is closest in meaning to According to paragraph 3, what are electronics manufacturers required to do under the European Union’s law? The word it’ in paragraph 3 refer to ______. Which statements is TRUE, according to the passagk Weve looked at the problem from every possible from but still hasn’t found a solution. Many activities like walking around the lake, playing badminton, and to ride bike can be seen here. It is very difficult for us to preventing forest fires during the drought. John doesn’t speak English as well as Janet. I have seen this film four times this year,” Mr. Nam said. It’s not necessary to do your homework now. This design is not beautiful. The unsuitable colours make it ugly. He spoke to her. She then realized her mistake. My parents never gave me "the sex talk." This says a lot, because they were both pediatricians. But like many Asian—and non-Asian—parents, they never discussed things like puberty, sexuality, or mental health with me as a kid. Now, as the parent of a teen and a tween, I find myself working hard not to fall back into the same patterns that would have me avoiding the conversations I know I need to have with my kids. Turns out I’m hardly the only one. In a Parents sex education survey of 1,500 caregivers, 70% of parents said that they are more comfortable talking to their children about topics related to sex than their own parents were with them, and 69% believe that sex education should be mandatory in schools. Sex education, in broad terms, includes discussions about anatomy, puberty, consent and communication, and sexual harassment, abuse, and assault, but also about body image, gender identity and expression, and sexual orientation and expression. PARENTS But only a third of parents surveyed said they are familiar or very familiar with their state's sex education requirements. And while 70% of them feel prepared to talk to their kids about sex, the numbers vary when broken down by factors like gender noting that 77% of fathers feel confident in this space or ethnicity, with only 44% of Asian parents noting they feel confident talking to their kids about sex. Like my parents. So I chose to take the opposite tack with my daughter as she ventured reluctantly into puberty. I bought her a stack of carefully vetted sex education books, I stocked up on pads, got period panties a lifesaver for my little water baby during summer swim season, and I opened the door to discussion early and often. And, if there's one thing we've learned from the Parents Sex Education survey, more parents are being proactive about having conversations about sex education with their kids. Which is a great thing. But if the topic feels fraught, you're not alone. Here, some guidance on how to start—and continue—the conversation. The Onset of Puberty Has Shifted "Kids will be learning about these topics with or without us," says Rosalia Rivera, Consent Educator, Abuse Prevention Specialist, Sexual Literacy Advocate, and creator of Consent Parenting. "It's best to be proactive and create a trusting relationship that's both safe and respectful of their development. That's why it's important to start early. "Getting ahead of the curve and establishing yourself as their go-to authority on all things puberty, sex education, consent, gender, and other sensitive topics will help kids trust that you're the safe person to ask for honest, shame-free, accurate information," says Rivera. "It's about being there for your child and being their safe guide." And now, more than ever, there are resources and tools parents can use to teach themselves about sex education so they can teach their kids, too. "Let's take the shame out of it," says Cara Natterson, author of the bestselling Care and Keeping of You book series and co-host of The Puberty Podcast. "For any parents who are curious 100 percent of your children are going to go through puberty. Learning about it, teaching them about it, having those necessary conversations is critical." These days, according to the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, the onset of puberty can start as early as age eight. That means if you're waiting until your kid is tween or teen, you're already late—but it's more important than ever to start now. The Concept of The Talk'—Singular—Is Outdated In the "old days," many parents thought a single "birds and bees" chat meant they'd done their due diligence as parents. But we all know how well that turned out. That's why it's critical to start conversations about sex education early and have them often. "As parents, we all want the authority and privilege of explaining the changes in adolescence and sex education,” says Megan Michelson, director of The Birds And Bees podcast. “We want parents to start talking and keep talking." She recommends an approach that's "frequent and frank," but notes that "there is so much power in the first impression! Be proactive, not reactive. At the same time, we all know this practice requires a clear vision, direction, and a goal in mind." Sitting down for a big, serious, face-to-face conversation can be intimidating, for both parents and kids. "You can start as young as three or four years old when a child pulls a tampon out of a purse and asks, 'What is this?'" says Michelson, who is also a former middle school educator. "Rather than grab it and tell them to not touch things like that, simply say, 'Oh sweetheart, this is a tampon. [Some parents] bleed once a month, and it's called a period. A tampon helps keep things clean.' While this might be your first conversation about periods, it should not be your last." As a pediatrician and a parent, Dr. Natterson recommends parents encourage open discussion. "My mantra is talk early, talk often, talk about everything. But not all at once," she says. "We can't just sit down and information dump on our kids because that's a lecture, and it's too much. Every day offers teachable moments You might be watching a show together and press pause. You might hear a story about something that happened at school or on the field. It's never too early to start these conversations." Explain Things In Terms Your Kid Will Understand Rosalia Rivera, Creator of Consent Parenting "I like to think of these conversations as layers, like lasagna. Start with a good foundation and keep adding on throughout their different ages and stages." — Rosalia Rivera, Creator of Consent Parenting Different ages and stages will require different frameworks for approaching discussions about puberty, sexuality, identity, and consent. "I like to think of these conversations as layers, like lasagna," says Rivera. "Start with a good foundation and keep adding on throughout their different ages and stages." Books, videos, and classes like Michelson's Birds and Bees workshop can help parents learn to navigate these conversations with grace and authority. "We want parents to feel empowered to break sex education down into multiple, age-appropriate conversations that begin at a young age," Michelson says. "By answering our kids' questions in an age-appropriate way, we also have the power to normalize the changes that come along with adolescence, too. 'Where do babies come from?' 'How is that baby getting out of there?' 'What's a tampon?' are all normal questions for curious kids to ask and we want parents to feel equipped and empowered to answer them in a way that fosters confidence and open discussions." And when it comes to consent, whether you're talking to a toddler or a teen, in the end, the bottom line is the same. "The very core values of that concept are the same, whether you're talking about a toy or whether you're talking about someone's personal physical space," says Dr. Natterson. "So those types of conversations about nutrition, about respecting your own body, about pleasure, and what feels good." Michelson says speaking from a place of authority is important—and so, too, is ensuring kids that what they're experiencing is something everyone goes through. Here, an age by age, stage by stage approach to starting conversations. Toddlers It may seem strange to talk to toddlers about sex. But sex education conversations at this early stage lay the groundwork for the future—and ideally, these honest and frank chats give information on a need to know basis, establishing trust between the child and parent. "Parents should be the experts and a trusted source for their children. For example, start by addressing body parts with anatomical names," Michelson says. "This can begin as young as bathing your toddler in the tub or potty training. As they grow, find small, age-appropriate ways to address body boundaries." That may sound complicated, but it's how caregivers educate children about the world around them every day—and it works just as well here. "When discussing consent, you'd take a different approach with a toddler, talking about it in simpler terms, like sharing and not sharing, teaching what's appropriate," Dr. Natterson explains. "Like 'I'm just making sure it's okay with that person that I shared this toy they're playing with." Consent for Toddlers Conversations about consent are particularly critical at this age—and every age—so start early. "At this stage it's all about helping them understand their body autonomy, boundaries and what consent means," says Rivera. "'Did you know that your body belongs to you? And because it belongs to you, you get to say what happens to and with your body. Those body rules are called your body boundaries.'"Use clear language and definitions. "Consent at this stage can be explained as permission," says Rivera. "It can sound something like, 'When someone wants to hug you or kiss you, they should ask you first, since it's your body and you get to say what happens with and to your body.'" Little Kids As your kid grows older—and more curious—conversations around sex education will expand beyond bodily autonomy to grapple with bigger concepts. "Talking about puberty and periods before they happen helps them realize that changes like this are normal and to be expected," says Michaelson. "These matter-of-fact conversations create a shame-free place for education and communication." But how do you know your kid is ready? "Cues can be that they are asking more questions about their bodies or other people's bodies," says Rivera. "They may be exploring their own body and trying to understand the functions of their bodies. Those cues should signal to a parent that it's definitely time to talk about body literacy and safety." Consent for Little Kids Rivera says it's important to continue to incorporate the concept of consent into these chats, "helping them learn about the nuances of communicating boundaries. Allow kids to say no and support their decisions and be advocates when adults don't respect their nos. [This] helps them develop confidence for vocalizing boundaries. But also, helping them learn how to talk about how they feel if someone pushed them or hugged them without consent."This is the stage to talk to kids "about things like coercion and withdrawal," Rivera says. "This is key, because at this stage peer groups become a more prominent influence for kids. That no one should make them feel obligated to say yes or guilty for saying 'no thanks,' because they're not responsible for the feelings of others." Tweens and Teens If you've laid a foundation of conversations around anatomy, emotions, and consent, then you have a place to build from, says Michaelson. But for many parents and caregivers, their kids' tween and teen years may be the start of their experience with sex education. Starting these conversations early—and having them often—is critical because these days kids are inundated by more information than ever. "If your kid has a question and you don't want to answer it, they're going to seek out the answer. And they live in a world where they can get an answer," says Dr. Natterson. "As parents and adults who are in the lives of these kids, we are at a crossroads where we have a choice. Either the information can come from us, or we can outsource it. Probably to the Internet or to their 12-year-old friends, and I'm not sure what, which is worse, right?" Consent for Tweens and Teens With tweens and teens, things can get more complicated as they find themselves navigating peer groups—online and IRL. "For kids who are navigating the online space, the topic of consent can be translated into internet safety and what's safe and appropriate for peers to ask of them online," Rivera says. "Letting kids know that the same boundaries that they applied about their bodies, also apply in digital spaces. Remind them that they have body autonomy, and that includes virtual autonomy in the digital space."She recommends talking your child through "what if" scenarios so they know how they would handle situations that might come up. "This will give you a lot of information about their understanding of boundaries, consent and how they would communicate these understandings to peers," Rivera explains. Keep the Conversation Going Dr. Natterson reminds parents that the access kids have to information today carries greater risks, too. "Kids who have access to the Internet have access to pornography. It finds them, you know," she says. "So caregivers need to arm kids with really good, healthy information and have those conversations." While that may sound intimidating, "Sometimes it's as simple as, 'You might see a naked person on the Internet. If that happens, you didn't do anything wrong, but come talk to me because we can talk about what you saw and how you're feeling,'" Dr. Natterson says. "You don't want to get so far ahead of it that your kid's not ready to have the conversation. But you do want to be baby-stepping your way into these conversations, and by saying to a child, 'It's not your fault. I'm not going to be mad,' you are leaving the door open should something come up." Cara Natterson, author of The Care and Keeping of You "Even when you say something wrong, or it doesn't resonate, or it embarrasses your kid, having had the conversation is good. When it doesn't land, go back and have it again. And if they haven't heard you, listen to them. Conversation is two ways, and not just us telling our kids how it is, but that they tell us what life is like for them, what's real for them, and what language they're using." — Cara Natterson, author of The Care and Keeping of You And if at first you don't succeed? Definitely try again. It's okay if it feels awkward. "Kids are supposed to be curious and ask questions—it's part of healthy child development," Michelson says. "Just because it's normal doesn't mean it's easy to answer them." In the long run, your relationship with your children will be better for it. "Even when you say something wrong, or it doesn't resonate, or it embarrasses your kid, having had the conversation is good," Dr. Natterson says. "When it doesn't land, go back and have it again. And if they haven't heard you, listen to them. Conversation is two ways, and not just us telling our kids how it is, but that they tell us what life is like for them, what's real for them, and what language they're using." If anything, that's the real message this Parents sex education survey is sending. It’s about creating an open, comfortable relationship, a place where your child feels safe asking questions or raising concerns. And like many parents, that’s what I have to remind myself the conversation comes up again, as it inevitably will. Source pexels Stuff. No matter how valuable, how beautiful, how family-historic, or how meaningful some of our “stuff” is, most millennials don’t want it. To them, a set of china, crystal, sterling flatware, our grandmother’s tea service, or that cherished dining set with the matching hutch are things they not only politely refuse to take on, but will also have to deal with getting rid of when we’re gone. It’s interesting to think first about why we, as boomers, put so much value on it, and then turn around and wonder why our kids don’t. In my mind, there is a psychology built on what each generation considers important, making it easier to judge one another instead of understanding the reasoning. Women in my age range tsk-tsk at how their children’s generation would readily haul off their parents’ valuables to a thrift store after they’re gone instead of displaying it, treasuring it, and telling the stories behind it to the next generation. But I get it. I really do. My war-generation parents loved to share their belongings with grace. They threw formal cocktail parties and had elaborate dinners with elegantly-set tables on lovely furniture, leaving nothing to chance — with attention paid right down to the last butter knife, wine decanter, coffee cup and saucer, and dessert plate sitting on a nearby breakfront, poised to be placed on the table the moment the main course was finished. Our house was spotless, with all beds made to perfection just in case a guest wanted a tour. And no, my family was not wealthy. They were formed from the stereotypical single-income, middle- class that no longer exists — the one that took great took pride in owning at least one car, taking yearly 2-week vacations, and entertaining their friends and family at any time of year. Frugality was a learned art for them. Lights were turned off when not in use. Saturday was “bath” night. Rubber bands were collected, foil was washed and re-used, and mothers regularly lost their voices yelling out windows to get their kids home by dark. Planning a dinner party was not for the purposes of showing off; it was, rather, for “treating” their guests, and most of the time there was an unspoken sense of reciprocation that went along with it. I would hear the "company" say, “It’s our turn to have you over next!” as the lipsticked wives donned their perfumed coats and white gloves to head out the door after an evening of alcohol, bad jokes, dinner, music, and laughter. Enter the boomers — their now-grown kids. The ones told not to touch the hors d'oeuvres or dessert and sent to bed early so "adulting" could take place. While deeply appreciating what our parents’ generation handed us as well as their wartime or immigrant sacrifices, we may have begun our married lives trying to emulate our entertaining parents with the best of intentions. But by the time we grew up, things had changed. Boomer moms were more educated and career-oriented, having more options than any generation of women before them. Having the kind of "lifestyle" we sought required two incomes. No longer were there weeks on end to prepare for a fancy night of entertaining. Those were reserved for holidays only. Our own kids noticed sets of dishes, crystal, and flatware were brought out only rarely, knowing the rest of the year they took up recesses in closets, cabinets, and labeled boxes. As a young adult, I came to the conclusion that I no longer needed to try to be my own saintly mother — even worse — I knew could never come close to the kind of domestically-proud woman she was anyway. While she gazed lovingly at the lit-up contents of her china cabinet, I wondered why we had to have a department store window in our dining room — a place that was simply kept dusted all the time and rarely used as she got older. And when I got into my 50s, long after Mom was gone, I sold my own china cabinet. My dinnerware all got shoved into a cabinet underneath our stairs — accessible but no longer featured. While I enjoy entertaining, I stopped using my china and silver wedding gifts from long, long ago and began opting for the fun Crate & Barrel stuff with Pier 1 linens. Guests seemed more at ease with less dressy place settings, and I was gung-ho to make them feel comfortable, as they arrived in casual clothing greeted by their hosts sporting the same look. Now? I am still hanging on to a few items I truly love, but recently I snapped smartphone photos of the objects or collections I am willing to let go of, asking my daughter about her level of interest in any of it. “I already have an obscene amount of STUFF,” she told me. And while I know she cherishes a few odds and ends from my mom a pair of mid-century modern loveseats, for instance, there is really nothing of mine she wants. Millennials tend to be minimalists. Formal dining rooms are not a requirement. And they’re happy to use their everyday plates to serve their “hang-out” guests. Chicago Tribune’s Denise Crosby, writing about succeeding generations, says, “Auctioneers and appraisers, junk haulers and moving companies all seem to be echoing the same thing The market is flooded with baby boomer rejects. And they cite a number of reasons our kids are turning down the possessions we so generously offer to them. They rent rather than own, live in smaller spaces, collect more digital than physical items, and tend to put their money toward experiences rather than things.” I made the decision, therefore, to sell some of my things and use the money for our next big trip, whenever the world is ready to let us travel again. There are sites like eBay, Craigslist, Facebook Marketplaces, and tons of silver and china-buying venues happy to share in the profit. While I once thought of passing down things to my daughter, I realized that all I would be doing at this point is burdening her with a collection of things she will either need to find a home for or bequeath to a thrift store. And I feel no resentment about it whatsoever, because what she values is not the physical things that I possess. She values who I am. And, someday — who I was. So I regularly contribute chapters to my own life memoir as much of it as I can recall so that she and any future generations might know something about me they never have been otherwise privy to. It is my gift to her. Somehow, I know that is more valuable than a crystal goblet. Facebook image Elena Elisseeva/Shutterstock In August, Treasurer Scott Morrison warned that “Australia has a generation growing up expecting government handouts”. Researchers have labelled this the “Me Generation”. Some even say we are facing a “me, me, me epidemic”. So why have today’s young people become more narcissistic? According to research, the decrease in young people’s levels of empathy is partly the result of changes in parenting styles that came about in the 1980s. In the past, parents had children as a means to gain practical and even financial support for family survival and to help it thrive. But now, children are perceived as an emotional asset whose primary purpose is being loved. Parents now tend to place greater emphasis on cultivating the happiness and success of their offspring. What led to this change in parenting style? From the 1980s onwards, children have spent fewer hours doing chores around the house as living conditions and technology – including the invention of washing machines and dishwashers – have improved. Nowadays children are no longer perceived as contributors whose work is essential for the survival of the family and its ability to thrive. Parental focus has shifted from the development of family responsibility to the development of children’s happiness and success. As a result, children’s sense of entitlement has been inflated, but the cultivation of responsibility has fallen by the wayside. So chores are not valued as much as they used to be. This is particularly the case for young people in China, often labelled “little emperors” and “little princesses”, who were born under the one-child policy between 1979 and 2015. These children’s parents, most of whom had gone through hardship in China’s Great Famine and the Cultural Revolution, vowed not to allow what they had suffered to happen to their only child. They became overwhelmingly dedicated to their child, which resulted in many children shouldering no family responsibilities, including chores. It is also the case for children in the West. Research has found that less than 30% of American parents ask their children to do chores. As academic Richard Rende said in his book Raising Can-Do Kids “Parents today want their kids spending time on things that can bring them success, but ironically, we’ve stopped doing one thing that’s actually been a proven predictor of success — and that’s household chores.” How responsibility can develop a family bond Traditionally, chores were a family obligation. They were hard and tedious. But research suggests engaging in routine chores helps children to develop a sense of social justice, because everyone has to do them, which inculcates the idea of fairness. Chores can also provide a vehicle for children to cultivate a family bond and a sense of responsibility. The development of social justice in children means that children view their relationship with their parents as a two-way thing, rather than it being one-sided. A family bond has two interacted dimensions that parents love their children and that children are grateful for the sacrifices their parents made. For the latter, only through moral reasoning and, more importantly, discipline chores can parental love be translated into practice and mutual love between parents and children and a family bond be developed.

parents today want their